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To work around this, I started pre-allocating…everything:
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While it mostly affects children - around half have had it by their fourth birthday - people of any age can get it.
In his simulations, it was extremely rare for someone to have their mutual first picks; but many people had those that were second or third picks. In this scenario a couple counts as happy if each is near the top of the other's list and neither can find someone they and that other person would both prefer more.